Dilani Diva

Mating or Dating ?

For all those -First Dates ♦ The Do’s the Don’ts and the may be-s ♦ from a women’s point of view

IS IT ALL OR NOTHING AT ALL…

Let the rush of spirt fill me with deep anticipation.
Let me feel like flying off a roof,
Doing something foolish … maybe.
I am young again. For my heart flutters.
I wonder what it would be.
Would you feel the flutter in my spirit.
Would I ever know.
How you would feel about me.
I sputter and stutter but outwardly I stand.
Strong and undefeated willing to hold out my hand.
dlani. diva

First dates are always exciting. The anticipation of it all. It is exciting, Is it not? The dressings up and getting ready. Specially for a women. It is interesting how to  day things have changed, Your suiters come right in to your door. In fact into your living room and into your office where ever your computer is. . Smiling away on your screens. In fact there are many ( hopefully ) Not just one. This is a good thing. I think . there are many that have found love through these open door and many who have found the basis of a good fruitful family life filled with abundance.

Today I want to speak to those who are still out there and searching. There are some of us who have done this before and are comfortable in it’s space and then there are a few others who feel a little apprehensive about it all. Whoever you are I hope this episode will help you .

A few things to remember.

• A first date is just that.- “ A first date” -It is not about seeing if this is Mr. Right or Mr Wrong. It is about just seeing who the other person is and seeing if you both can share that moment in space with a few laughs and some good conversation. It takes more than the first few dates for people to really get to know each other. Remember that it is not just a emotional thing. Just as emotions are important. It is a factual thing and the persons actions towards you, what they do and what they say and the sharing of their dreams as they go along takes time. and vise versa. It will take you more than a few minutes to share you dreams with another. So don’t make the first date or the fisrt few dates a heavy affair. Make it light and fun. Think of looking beautiful cos it makes you happy to put on your cute shoes or hat. Enjoy being a women.

• Learn to share information equally. – Sometimes we just LOVE to talk ( ha ha that is so much me, the women) and we forget that the other person has something to say too. So balance the date. Now if he talks too much and you cant get a word in then you know. That’s not going to work. imagine another women in your house. LOL well that can happen. I have a neighbor who cant stop talking at the top of his voice. Our houses are built fairly well apart and still I hear him. I know his wife never talks ( well I am making that up- to make you laugh) but if you don’t like it there is your Que. to make an exit. Gracefully. Yes remember to be graceful. A women without grace is not very attractive.

• If you would like to see him again. Just mention it but don’t make a big deal about it within your self – especially. Remember that it is still the early stages. It is important to have your power and your light shining within. Don’t give it all away at the drop of a hat. Fancy that, at a drop of a hat.

• Remember to chose. Sometimes we just forget. We just need to be needed. We don’t even care for what. Remember that you have a choice. Ask your self that question. “From all of them around me who is the best for me?” now remember that it takes a little time to figure that out. Most of us don’t like to wait. We want our relationships to be like instant puddings. Well that is not a really good thing. Instant pudding does not ever compare to hand made one’s. You should know that. Interestingly time evolves things. It evolves things in a conscious way and in an unconscious way. Remember some one told you about “sleep on it”  – boy we don’t like that very much do we. Sleep on it ! It is sound advice.

• Remember to be Joyful. During the date and after the date. Don’t get stressed out if someone does not like you. Or if he or she does not call you again. Not every one likes every one . God just made it that way. So just by remembering that you are beautiful and joyful you will find your place of happiness within and not just without.

WHEW !!!! Take a break !!!! We don’t want another sermon ( talking to myself- Dilani )

A few don’t on these first dates.

Don’t make it all about you .Try to talk about many things.

• Don’t hang around for too long. It is good to keep a little mystery going. Let him want to get to know you more. Now don’t rush out as you got there give it time to settle in and then enjoy yourself a little and then depart. Remember again to be graceful. and feminine.
• Dress in a way that you are sexy but not distracted with your clothes. wear comfortable things but make is appealing. You don’t want him to keep looking at your chest when he wants to get to know you .First impressions are important. You don’t want him thinking that you were waiting to be grabbed. Also don’t dress like a nun. He would think you should be in a convent. We don’t need that. Wear something that makes you look hot but that you don’t have to worry about. Cos then all your attention and not on your out fit.
• Don’t guzzle down your drink or drink too much . It will give you a buzz and you wont know what on earth you said . Better to have it under control in public. Specially if he is cute and you would like to hang out again.

• Don’t interview him. In other words don’t keep asking very pertinent questions one after the other.  Let the energy flow.  share and give some and take some. Make it a fun time.
• If someone is not interesting you be upfront ( may be later on a phone call or an IM ) and move on be form but fair. After all that is how you want to be treated.

Lastly. Remember that all that we make today in our life becomes a part of our past and the past is like a cushion we rest on. You can make a lumpy cushion or you can make a nice soft one. The stuffing is up to you. So make sure you put some Joy, Love, Compassion and Confidence into your day and your cushion of memories will be wonderful to snooze on.

May the blessings of the universe be with you now and always . It was wonderful to be here with you . Hope to speak to you again soon. Take care and be safe.